The beautiful idiocy of liberals

July 17, 2006

Since I was a wee lad watching the Vikings lose Super Bowls, liberal-minded sportswriters have waged a war against racial injustice in the huddle. Every fall, like clockwork, one could count on copious columns calling for more black quarterbacks, early examples such as James Harris, Joe Gilliam and Vince Evans having been deemed insufficient. The sports media concocted a legend that the reason for this outrage was that racist coaches and fans were opposed to black quarterbacks, a myth that persists today. Not so long ago, one Pittsburgh writer blamed racism on Steelers' fans unwillingness to embrace Kordell Stewart as a starting quarterback and a Minnesota writer even claimed ''Vikings' fans similarly rejected Culpepper when he started as well.'' Of course, this ignores the small fact that Kordell Stewart had a negative touchdown-interception ratio as a starter, and except for one marvelous year in 1997, was pretty much a disaster behind center. Indeed, the year after the Steelers gave up on him, he threw nearly twice as many interceptions as touchdowns for Chicago before getting benched for good. Current Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger, on the other hand, had a 1.7 TD-to-INT ratio, in addition to leading the team to a Super Bowl win, which perhaps factors slightly into his popularity. As for Culpepper, the accusation is simply fiction. A Minnesota fanbase that enthusiastically supported both Warren Moon and Randall Cunningham, (to say nothing of Tony Dungy, who was a very popular four-year starter at quarterback for the Golden Gophers), had absolutely no problem with starting a black quarterback. We were all, however, very nervous about Denny Green deciding to go with a second-year quarterback who not only had not thrown a single pass during his rookie season, but also looked really bad during the 1999 preseason. By the time Daunte threw three touchdown passes and no interceptions against the Bears in leading the Vikes to a 6-0 start, everyone was on board with the big guy. Of course, the debate has moved on of late. Although the sporting media continues to be, in Rush Limbaugh's words, ''very desirous that a black quarterback do well'' and continues to consistently overrate black quarterbacks, (not only has Michael Vick failed to reinvent the position, but the Falcons unwillingness to trade Matt Schaub makes one wonder just how long he'll even remain a starter), the new racial crusade is the ''growing problem'' of too few black coaches. How the problem is growing when there are more black NFL head coaches than ever before remains a mystery. For years, it was Tony Dungy who was the face of coaching discrimination, then it was Marvin Lewis, and after him, Lovie Smith and Romeo Crennel. Now that all four men hold head coaching positions, it is Jim Caldwell of the Colts and Donnie Henderson of the Jets who are being unfairly oppressed by The Man. As one Philadelphia columnist writes: ''When it comes to hiring black coaches, the NFL doesn't need to regress, they need to progress.'' Now, all of this is absurd. The U.S. Constitution happens to guarantee the Right of Free Association, which means an NFL owner or an NFL coach has the perfect right to hire whoever he wants, for whatever stupid reason he likes. Indeed, blacks are statistically overrepresented in the NFL head-coaching ranks, and anyone truly concerned about racial equity in the league would be agitating for more Hispanic or Asian head coaches, of which there are currently zero. Furthermore, there's no question that racial equity demands more white players, who are shockingly underrepresented in the NFL. But where is the sports media on this vital question of racial imbalance? About to be hoist on their own petard, that's where. I couldn't help but smile upon reading Scoop Jackson's <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=jackson/060713&lpos=spotlight&lid=tab1pos2">recent call to arms</a> regarding the lack of blacks in the sports media, in which he cited the Washington Post's calculation that only four of the 305 Associated Press sports editors were black. I'm with Mr. Jackson 100% on this one, although his reasoning is little more than the usual whining about numbers. Still, this third stage of the long march toward total sports domination should be entertaining; I can't wait to see the white liberal reaction when a black editor is hired at a major sports publication and pulls a classic Denny in immediately purging most of the white staff. The beautiful idiocy of liberals is their total inability to think through the probable consequences of their actions. For years, white liberal sportswriters have waged war against white quarterbacks and white coaches, so justice will be well served when their jobs are turned over to blacks in the name of cosmic justice. One merely wonders, at what point white liberals will deem equity to have been reached. When all the quarterbacks, coaches, sportswriters and spectators are black? Still, it is true that the late Ralph Wiley could write a better column from the grave than Michael Silver can manage on his best day, while even Jason Whitlock's lesser musings on hazing in women's soccer are to be preferred to Peter King's homoerotic NFL panegyrics. So, why not march with Scoop on this one? Come on, people, you know the words. WE SHALL OVERCOME ...